15 Hilarious Things Only Dachshund Owners Understand
Over the years, I have had many first-time Dachshund owners come to me with their training struggles. Hey, I get it. Dachshunds have a feisty attitude and it takes a special amount of patience to train and understand this particular dog breed.
Dachshunds have many characteristics that only doxie parents can truly relate to. Some are adorable, crazy, and just plain comical.
Let’s learn The Hilarious Things Only Dachshund Owners Understand…and hopefully we can help prepare those first-time Dachshund owners for what’s coming.
There’s Gonna Be Pee
When you have time to relax on your favorite comfy couch or chair, your lap will be filled in a flash with a warm Dachshund. They are like lap magnets. They just want to curl up and sleep on your lap.
During our evening TV time, my husband and I have a phrase we use when we need something, but can’t move…we are “Dachshund Pinned.” We can’t bring ourselves to pick up the passed out, sleeping dachshund from our lap or take the chance that they will sit on someone else’s lap instead.
Dachshunds think that they are the biggest dogs in the world…or maybe I have it backwards and they just don’t care about their size. They have a bold enough attitude to boss around larger dogs or animals without batting an eye.
One day, when it was time for my dogs to eat, my German Shepherd, Ardi, started chowing down before his two doxie brothers. In seconds, my Dachshund, Reno, locked onto his cheek and gave him a big growl! Ardi then laid down on the carpet and waited for Reno to finish eating. We couldn’t believe that such a large dog just obeyed this little bossy Dachshund.
They Get Away With Everything
Dachshunds are precious when they are puppies and still super cute when they are adults. Who can seriously stay mad at those irresistible puppy eyes and kissable face? My Dachshund gets away with everything, and he knows it. If he adds in the adorable head tilt, I’m just done for.
You Can’t Just Have One
Remember that Pringles commercial, “Once you pop, you can’t stop?” Well, that tends to be the case when you own a Dachshund. You can’t just have one.
All doxies need a buddy to play with. Two or more works out much better, don’t you think?
Your Little Shadow
Tripping over a dachshund in my house is very common around dinner time. They know just when to back themselves up right as you attempt to step over them to give you a good trip.
Welcome Home Present
If you plan on going on vacation without your doxie pup, or even just traveling for a few days, your Dachshund will make sure to leave you a special present when you return home.
When I used to travel for work, I would be gone for 3-4 days at a time. When I returned home, my Dachshund, Reno, would act like he had a chip on his shoulder and pretend I wasn’t there.
Reno would carry on like this for about 24 hours. He would purposely sit with my husband instead of me during our evening TV time, which did bother me, I admit.
Before Bed, I would ALWAYS find a turd on the floor on my side of the bed. That was my welcome home present.
Dachshunds Will Bark Until The Cows Come Home
These little anxious dogs love to bark. They may be barking because they are excited, playful, being protective or territorial, nervous, or even bored. At times, this can get a bit excessive.
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Dachshund Hair Everywhere
All Dachshunds shed. Even the short hair doxies have hair that goes everywhere. I find it on my clothes, my bed, and my couch. I will even randomly find dog hair in my mouth! I do kiss them all day long, I really shouldn’t be that surprised.
Dachshunds Make the Rules and Break The Rules
Dachshunds make their own rules and they really don’t care what your rules are.
If you make your rules clear to them, they will understand, but that doesn’t mean they will comply.
Dachshunds are known for their spiteful behavior. They aren’t dumb, they know exactly what they are doing.
A Dachshund’s favorite food is…food. I’m not talking about their dog food, I’m talking about OUR food.
Never come between your doxie and their food. It doesn’t matter if you’re their favorite person. Your sweet little Dachshund can turn from angel to devil in seconds when it come to their “precious” food.
Unfortunately, a Dachshund’s addiction to food can lead to obesity and health issues. So, try to keep them away from table scraps the best you can.
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Dachshunds Are Thieves!
If you notice your Dachshund is running around the house at full speed, like he just won a million biscuits, your dog has something in his mouth that he’s not supposed to have. In my house, usually it’s either a piece of food, a sock, or a pair of underwear.
Dine and Dash
I know I’m coming around to food again, but Dachshunds love to STEAL your food. Many non-Dachshund owners would never believe that such a small dog could make their way onto the dining room table…but they do it all the time.
My whole family still talks about my Aunt’s standard Dachshund, Charles, who got up on the dinning room table and swallowed a foot long sub sandwich…wrapper and all! He did it in seconds, and never got caught.
If my kids don’t tuck in their chairs far enough at dinner time, my little Dachshund, Eko, immediately pounces on their chair and scarfs down any leftovers on their plate.
Eko knows he’s not supposed to eat table scraps, but he knows what’s on the table and he wants all of it.
Silent But Smelly
If your Dachshund feels like you aren’t giving them enough attention, they will leave a mystery poop and they will not get caught doing it…Even if they have been outside to potty plenty of times.
When my husband and I were working on a project in the house one afternoon, within the first hour, I stood up to walk out of the room and there was a fresh pile of poo inches away from me! I didn’t even hear my dachshund do it and he was no where to be found. So Stealthy!
This is definitely one of the Dachshund’s magical, yet undesirable talents.
Time For Bed
Dachshunds want to sleep in your bed, not their’s. It doesn’t matter how soft or expensive their doggie bed is, they want to burrow way under the covers and sleep next to you.
My husband claims that dachshunds plant themselves right up against us to steal our heat, because they love to be warm and cozy. I don’t mind letting Eko sleep in my bed once in a while, but it can’t go on every night…because for being a little dog, he is a major bed hog.
You Can’t Live Without Them
It is Really Really Hard when you lose a Dachshund. Despite the humorous challenges along the way, life just doesn’t feel the same without them around.
Once I figured out what the dachshund was all about and how to understand their behavior, I knew that this was the dog breed I will always have in my life now and forever. Dachshunds are the most dedicated and loving companion you will ever have.
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Being able to understand a dachshund’s temperament and behavior is a challenge for any doxie owner. It is not an easy task to raise a dachshund, but when you do, it is the ultimate accomplishment.